


This Is Me

by FlymetotheM00n12



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Getting Back Together, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, It's still fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor, Mutual Pining, Slightly - Freeform, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:49:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlymetotheM00n12/pseuds/FlymetotheM00n12
Summary: Lance still struggles but at least now he knows, he has someone.... again.





	This Is Me

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp, here's another late holiday piece. *sweat smile*  
> This is for the lovely Bree @TakingShance  
> I'm so sorry this doesn't meet what you wanted, I had such a difficult time trying to find inspiration and ideas for them. I tried really hard ;-;  
> I hope you still enjoy this

Lance usually hated parties. Sure, he was an outgoing guy and was always down to have a good time. But there was something intimidating about being in a random place- in this case, Shiro’s frat house. Filled almost to the max with sweaty strangers, all in different levels of drunk or high, or both. The music was always too loud for him to talk to the person next to him without wrecking his vocal cords, and the bass level up to its highest, vibrating every nerve in his body to an uncomfortable degree. 

But tonight, it wasn’t so bad. His small group of friends found a corner in the living room, a little secluded away from the party. Sure, it was still loud to properly hear each other but it didn’t stop them from double over laughing as they tossed jokes and wild ideas around. Lance was more giggly than usual as he pressed into the side of Takashi Shirogane, something he wouldn’t even allowed himself to do sober. But tispy Lance allowed it, oh boy did he allowed it. He clinged onto the bigger male almost desperately but tried to played it off as being too drunk to stand straight (although he might also be a little too drunk to stand still). 

However, Shiro didn’t mind. In fact, he was leaning into his touch, which made Lance’s heart leapt in his chest. His whole body heated up when Shiro decided to slip behind him and wrapped his arms around his torso, putting weight against his back. Lance’s face was burning as they drunkenly swayed. Sober thoughts began clouding his head.

‘Would anyone be suspicious? 

Do they know now? 

Did they already knew? 

Was he being obvious?’

He needed to get another drink. But he doesn’t want Shiro to let go nor does he want to leave his warmth. So what does his still drunk ass do? He shouted over his shoulder about getting a drink. He doubt their friends heard him but he hoped they would catch on as he took control of their swings, pivoting them towards to the kitchen, where the mountain of various alcohol bottles were. Laughs bubbled out both males as they waddle towards their designation. Shiro being completely pressed against Lance’s backside as his arms pulled Lance impossibly closer. If Lance closed his eyes (which he was) he can imagine everyone melted away and it was just the two of them. Where Lance felt safe and secure. He can ignore the spike of fear he would get when someone glanced in their direction. He can ignore the guilt that came with his pure enjoyment of being this close to Shiro in front of everybody. 

Their little penguin march ended sooner than Lance would have liked. And to Lance’s pain, guilt arrived shortly after as he open his eyes to the clutter of college students litter around the kitchen looked their way. Without thinking, Lance slid out of Shiro’s arms. Immediately he was pulled into two different directions. His body moved on his own from the pressure of being the center for attention- even when was just for 5 seconds. But his heart ache and unwelcome goosebumps spread across his back from the missing heat. Lance tried to play it off as he rushed to the bar, giggling. 

“Which poison should we pick?” Lance shouted over his shoulder. He didn’t yelled as loud as he did in the living room but he still had to yell over the music that filter into the kitchen. 

“How about these?” Shiro spoke in his ear, suddenly right next to him. The warmth was back and Lance was never been so grateful. Subtly as he can, leaned into him as his eyes almost going cross eyed as they focus on the water bottles that were thrust in front of him. Lance cheekily smiled at Shiro.

“Smirnoff it is.” Lance joked. As he reached for the bottle, a large hand wrapped around his other wrist and pulled him away. He thought he heard Shiro laugh and say ‘come with me’. He let Shiro dragged him down the hall… and up the stairs. 

Lance visibly swallowed. He knew what it looked like, hell, he’s been there before. Plenty of times. He missed those times but he won’t admit that to himself. Nope. Never. He won’t admit that he constantly thinks about all the times he spent with Shiro. All those memories that were tainted with fear at the time that caused it to end altogether. All because- Nope. He won’t admit it. 

As they reached Shiro’s door, at the end of the hallway. Shiro had to juggle the two bottles in his arms, as he reached into his pocket to dig out his key. He refused to let go of Lance’s hand, having it travel down somewhere during the journey. Lance wouldn’t have let him go that easily anyways. 

Once the door swung open, Lance stumbled forward inside. Giggles continue to spill from his lips, quiet and nervous yet content. He glanced over the room, it was the same from the last time he’s been here. 5 weeks ago. 

The door clicked shut, Lance twisted around to face Shiro back. He plops down on the bed…. Only for him to miss calculated, graced the edge before he slid and landed on his ass on the ground. The room bursted into laughter, Lance fell over in his side, he clutched his stomach as he continue to laugh hard. 

“Are you okay?” Shiro wheezed, crumpled to the floor from laughing too hard. He stood back up once he calmed down abit and walked over to Lance when he heard a breathy ‘yeah’ followed by little giggles. “Come here, you dork.” 

Lance felt himself being lifted by his wrist as he ungracefully stood up by jelly legs. He didn’t stand for that long as he flopped on the bed, correctly this time. A fit of laughter bubble out of his mouth as Shiro fell right next to him. 

They shared little giggles before it died down. Leaving them to look into each other’s eyes. Shiro’s were soft but adoring, his gray eyes shining in the dimly lit room. God, Lance missed those eyes. He missed this look. It was the same look when Lance cracked a lame joke. It was the same look when Lance got lost in his dance routine. It was the same look when they had their first time together.

That same heavy ache began to bloom in his chest.

" I miss you," Lance blurted out. And just like that, it felt like the bucket of ice water had been dumped on them, ruining the good mood. Shiro’s eyes widen before they softened in a different light. Pity. Lance didn’t want his pity, he didn’t know what he wanted. But he quickly pressed on. 

“But I get it,” He offered a smile, it wasn’t as bright like the moments ago. “I get it, you’ve been out in the world as yourself for years now. Hell, you always been yourself. Never once ashamed and that’s something I admire so much. You shouldn’t hide now, especially because of me,” 

Lance’s heard his voice thicken and his eyes misty. He couldn’t stand looking into Shiro’s eyes anymore. He sat up slowly, both hands squeezing the bed comforter as a anchor, and his eyes found interest on the ground, his dirty sneakers were twisted awkwardly around each other. He heard Shiro whispered his name but he continued on before he could hear more.

“You deserve better,” His voice becoming raw as his throat tighten. “You deserve to have someone who is not afraid. Someone who is brave enough to do something as simple a holding your hand in public. Someone who is proud of being himself and won’t hesitate to show affection. Someone to pull you close and not push you away especially when someone walks in the room,”

Lance can feel the shift beside him as Shiro sat up at the same slow pace, he kept his eyes on the ground as they began to blur with unshed tears. His lips began to tremble but he kept going. “Someone to stand up for you, for us, when coming out to my family went south,” He broke there.

A sob escape as the horrible memory flashed. He never seen his father so livid, his mother shocked speechless soon followed by loud harsh words and broken objects. Lance has never been paralyzed with fear before as he hid behind Shiro. He could still recall one horrifying moment when he thought Shiro would be severely injured and he couldn’t do anything to save him. The memory left just as quick as it came as strong arms wrapped around him. 

That warmth was back and Lance clinged onto it. He hold tightly as if he was going to lose it if he let go again. He continued with his mini vent. “I wish I was that person for you, Shiro. But I can’t. I’m a coward. But I still love you. I miss you. I miss your kisses and your touches. I miss when we had sex. God, I miss you, Shiro.” 

He sobbed as Shiro rocked him, he rubbed his hands up and down his back as he quietly shushed and comfort him. It took a few minutes before he calmed down. He didn’t meant for breakdown like that but once he let those three words slip, everything came falling out after it. 

“Lance,” Shiro’s voice calm and soothing. Lance got the sudden reminder that his true anchor was the man before, who wrapped himself around him. Shiro’s hand trailed up the lean body until he cupped Lance’s face. “You are so much stronger than what you think. I didn’t want to break up.”

That pulled Lance away, just a little bit. Enough to look in Shiro’s eyes again, little hope ignited within him. “Really?”

“No,” Shiro chuckled, it was light and playful. That kind of laugh Lance knew he was too far in his mind to realize how ridiculous it truly was. “I knew you needed space, Lance. I just wished I could told you that you are never alone, Baby.” 

Lance’s heart fluttered at the old nickname. More tears spilled but they were warmer than ones before as he smiled wide. Like fire, relief spreaded through him before doubt crept back in. “How do you did it, Shiro? How can I do it?” 

Warm thumbs swept across his cheeks. “It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take time. But I promise you, it’s going to be worth it in the end. I’ll be here, beside your side.” Shiro said and Lance believed him. His eyes took in every detail of Shiro’s face until they reached his lips. They were thin but so, so tempting and Lance knew how soft they were from past times. He could feel Shiro’s eyes on his own lips as they slowly but surely leaned into each other-

That was until the door burst opened. Lance jumped away, guilt and regret immediately filled his body. Here he was promising to be more confident in his relationship and himself only to recoil the first opportunity. 

“There you guys are, I knew I saw you two coming up here. Come on, it’s almost midnight.” Hunk said, unfazed by the close proximity of they had on the bed. Their friend didn’t wait for a response as he already walked back towards the party, leaving the door wide open. Lance looked back Shiro, sheeplished. Shiro gave him a understanding smile. 

“Do you trust me?” The question surprised Lance, almost taken aback. 

“Of course I do.” His voice soft and sincere. Shiro grinned, taking his hand and led down to the party. Shiro let go of his hand before they got to the main crowd. Lance had to suppress his pout but still follow him. The music was replaced with the New Year Countdown as the everyone tried to gather around the wide Tv. 

“This isn’t a new years resolution because we all know they’re bullshit.” Shiro whispered in his ear, both of them not looking away from the clock that’s counting down. “But this is our first step.” 

Lance did look at him that time. Confused but also a hint of anxiety. Were they going to kiss at midnight? Lance wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. But a small part of him kind of wanted him to, though he was still too uncertain. It was a big decision for him for such a short amount of time. He barely register when people started counting down. 

“11…

10…

9….

8…” Lance still wondered if Shiro was going to kiss him. He really hope so. He really missed those lips. As Shiro pressed closer to his side.

“5…

4…

3…

2…

1!” Couples around them turned to kiss their significant others in a passionate heat. However, Lance jumped a little when warm fingers ghosted the inside of his wrist. They continued down his palm until they laced with his fingers. A blush spreaded across his cheeks, Lance felt ridiculous for blushing. He did far more dirtier things than holding hands and yet here he is feeling like a middle schooler showing affection to his crush for the first time ever. But he continue to stare into Shiro’s eyes. A soft smile and equally soft eyes for just given to him. He couldn’t help but reciprocated them with nearly all of his face was flushed with a bright pink. 

Aside from his face, he expected his mind to stop working, his heart beating into overdrive. But instead, it was a nice mellow warmth settle in his chest. Leaving him content and even excited. He smiled widen more as he brought their joined hands up to kiss the back of Shiro’s hand. Shiro, in returned, kissed the back of his hand. 

“Happy new year, baby.” Shiro whispered to him. 

“Happy new year.” Lance whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me. Also this is unbeta, please forgive all the typos T.T  
> Happy New Year!


End file.
